It has come to my attention that there are people who do not know the story of Burned Woods.

The important thing to know is that there was a zone called Burning Woods, which was a part of Kunark in EQ1.

It took some time to find the original Burned Woods post as it appeared on the EQNecro forums. The original thread got destroyed in a forum update and I found various versions floating around that are not quite what I remember from the original version. Most seem to have the language cleaned up which – considering he bleeped out 90% of the swearing in the original, struck me as unnecessary. The easy-to-find online version seems to replace “a$$” with Halfling which is totally bizarre.

Luckily, I did find the original eventually – on our guild forums. I should have looked there first. :)

This was originally was posted to EQNecros and the follow-up (by someone else) appeared on the thread about a week later.

So there I was…..minding my own business in The Overthere, when all of a sudden I see the message: “d00d sow plz”.
Of course, my natural instinct was not to answer, since I thought the clueless newb (hereafter referred to politely as “the petitioner”) must have been poorly informed at best.

Boy was I ever wrong.

I switch out of 1st person into an external camera, and what did my wandering eyes behold? Only myself and the petitioner.
So I says to myself….”Self? You need to edumacate this fella!”

(Keep in mind what the overall setting looked like: There I was, in skeleton form, carrying a scythe, FLOATING IN MIDAIR IN A MEDITATING POSITION, with a LARGE dark-brown skeleton named “Gibober” standing behind me. Ummm….No, skippy, I’m not a druid or a shaman.)

I say “Wish I could, bro, but I don’t have SoW. I’m a Necromancer.”

The Petitioner says, “$#*&@#$ dick, sow me already! it’s for a cr”

Feeling as if my feathers had been ruffled a bit, I do a “/who all dumbass” (um..pardon..I meant “/who all petitioner”)

This is where I discovered the “/who all” bug. Certainly it must have been a bug, right? There’s NO WAY IN CREATION the dumbas…err…petitioner could have been a level 31 Dark Elf Wizard, right???? RIGHT????? /em begins to cry like a little girl.

Well, needless to say, I couldn’t have been any more shocked than if my pet began dancing an Irish Jig. I quickly begin the arduous task of maintaining my composure, while deciding how best to deal with this tricky situation.

I say, “Necromancer’s can’t cast SoW”.

Petitioner says, “Bull@#$%! you cast a spell while you were running and you sped up! i couldn’t catch you until you sat down! if you’re not going to sow me just say so you dont have to be a dick about it a$$hole”

Yes I know….he didn’t use any punctuation in that last sentence.

I say, “I have JBoots.”

He says, “what are they”

Before I have a chance to pick my chin up off the floor….

Petitioner asks, “can you buff my hps my hp sux”

I say, “I can’t buff you, dude. I’m a necromancer. I only have one buff that you would probably want.”

He says, “yeah the one you won’t give me dick”

Ok. Time to have fun with the hopelessly clueless.

I say, “Why do you need a sow?”

He says, “i need to get to burned woods to hunt. sumbody said its perfect for my level”

Yep. That’s what he said……”burned woods”.

I say, “man are you ever in the wrong place.”

He says, “?”

Apparently he found the “question mark” key conveniently located nearby other various and sundry communication facilitators.

I didn’t answer him.

He repeats, “??”

Found it twice…good for him.

He repeats, “???”

Having an IQ greater than plantlife, I sensed a pattern forming.

I say, “You are NOWHERE near Burned Woods.”

He says, “my friend told me it was in kunark”

I say, “Yeah, the operative word there is ‘WAS’. There was a major patch a couple of months ago after a bunch of complaints were filed about ‘static content’.”

He says, “?”

I say, “!”

He says, “?”

I say, “,”

He says, “wtf”

I say, “no, already have some.”

He says, “????”

I don’t respond.

He says, “so where the @#$% is burned woods”

He lost the question mark button again. Probably popped off when he was sniffing his feet.

I say, “Well, THIS week it’s south of Freeport. It changes with every patch, since they began randomizing zone locations.”

My guild is hysterical at this point. And I haven’t even told them the ENTIRE story yet. Just snippets.

He says, “@#$% i just got off the boat”

I say, “You don’t need the boat.”

He says “why”

I say, “You’re a wizard!”

He says, “how you know that”

I say, “I did a /wh…nevermind….the important thing is you have teleportation spells.”

He says, “oh yeah the green ones”

I nod.

I say, “Yep. The ‘green ones’. Pretty nice how you have them grouped by color.”

He says, “thx”

I say, “How’d you think about doing it that way?”

He says, “they were all @#$%## up when i got this char”

I say, “Sit down and mem the spell ‘Fay Gate’.”

He says, “why”

Question mark key is on the ground in front of your chair, guy. Mixed in with your collection of boogers.

I say, “It’s going to put you within spitting distance of Burned Woods.”

He says, “how do you know”

I say, “All patch messages come with a zone connection map.”

He says, “oh”

I say, “Ok. You have it memmed now?”

He had just stood up after what I assumed was meditating/looking at his spell book.

He says, “yeah”

I say, “Ok. Cast the spell and let me know when you get there.”

Dumba…errr….Petitioner begins to cast a spell.

A LONG time goes by…..ok, maybe 5 minutes

I still haven’t heard from him.

Getting curious:

I tell petitioner, “Are you there yet?”

No reply. No reply at all. [Yes, I'm a Genesis fan... ]

Obviously he’s there, or my tell wouldn’t have gone through.

I tell petitioner, “Hit the ‘r’ key to reply to me.”

He replies, “i’m here now where do i go.”

Right idea….wrong punctuation mark. Oh well. “C” for effort.

I tell petitioner, “Ok, do you see a hotkey on the screen that says ‘Sense Heading’?”

He replies, “no”

I reply, “Hit the arrow buttons one by one until you see one.”

It was a guess, but an educated one.

He replies, “found it”

I reply, “Click on it.”

He replies, “north”

I reply, “Ok, you need to head east along the path. Keep going until the path turns north. When it forks to the right, take the right fork.”

He replies, “ok”

Who knows, maybe the guy who sold his account on Ebay worked his Felwithe faction up.

He replies, “sumbody told me i shouldnt be here cause i’m a dark elf”

I reply, “They were roleplaying.”

He replies, “oh hehe @#$%@#$ morons ;P”

Priceless. Utterly priceless, I tell you.

I reply, “Where are you?”

He replies, “i see something now. looks like a castle”

I reply, “Run into the castle as fast as you can. The guards might give you some trouble, just keep running.”

Yeah…damned conscience started kicking in.

A fairly long period of time passes. Not sure how long, but longer than I was expecting.

I tell petitioner, “What happened?”

As if I didn’t know….

He replies, “my spells are gone!”

I reply, “What happened?”

He replies, “i died why”

I reply, “Oh man! Did I tell you to run east or west?”

He replies, “east wtf???”

I reply, “Yikes. My bad. You should have run west.”

He replies, “?”

I reply, “So where are you now?”

He replies, “how can i tell”

I reply, “Look right after you see ‘Loading please wait’. It should tell you ‘You have entered [zone]‘.”

He replies “it doesnt say [zone] there.”

After smacking my head against my monitor….

I reply, “What does it say in place of [zone]?”.

Get this….

He replies, “Burning Woods”

I nearly fell out of my chair! I couldn’t have PLANNED it that way!

He replies, “is that the same as burned woods”

I reply, “No, but you’re close. Start running south so you can get your corpse back.”

He replies, “i have to get my corpse back?????”

/ignore petitioner

Moral of the story: EBay…Just Say No!

Out of sheer curiosity, I took him off ignore later to find out what happened.

I tell petitioner, “How’s it going?”

He replies, “wtf? where you been”

I reply, “been afk, sorry.”

He replies, “got my corpse back. some dude rezzed me.”

My conscience somewhat eased…

I reply, “Really? Cool! Where are you now?”

He replies, “iceclad ocean”

I scratch my head a few times.

I reply, “Why Velious?”

He replies, “the guy that rezzed me told me burned woods was in western wastes this week”

I don’t recall exactly how long it took me to stop laughing. I stopped breathing shortly before my dog dialed 911.

He replied, “@#$%&* wouldnt sow me either. what is that sh#$ gold?”

That’s what finally killed me. I’m writing this from the afterlife.

Mujahid Mukhtaar
Questmaster of the Enchanted Circle

Sadly, I don’t seem to have the name of the person who posted the follow-up. His post appeared on the thread about a week later.

Here comes some idiot Dark Elf running past me, running straight down the road that is going to lead him to Felwithe. I scratch my head, and being the nosey sort of Dwarf that I am…I send him a tell.

I tell the DE, “Wait”

DE tells me, “?”

I sigh into my ale as I take another long draught off of it before running up to him and saying, “Ye really don’t wanna go messin around over there with them High Elves’ They look like pansies, but they aint.”

The DE stands there with a vacant look on his face for a few minutes before just running away. Do a /who on the DE and find out he’s 31st level. Ok, so maybe he knows what he’s doing. I’ve seen Ogres in North Freeport, after all. I go back to drinking my ale.

Out of curiosity, I send him another tell a few minutes later.

I tell the DE, “Not gettin’ into any trouble over there are ye?”

DE tells me, “STFU !@#$% roleplayer”

I sigh into my ale again, finishing it off. Ah, tis the season of the twit. I stand up and head towards Felwithe to resupply my ale.

Just as I get to the gates of the ugliest city on Norrath, what do I find but a dead dark elf and a pair of guards snickering and cleaning their weapons. Now this is priceless.

I do a /who on the poor soul and see he is in Burning Woods. Being the sucker that I am, I feel compelled to rez the twit…after all, I am a !@#$% roleplayer and I roleplay a !@#$% cleric…albeit a !@#$% grumpy one.

I sit down to mem Reviviscene and while I am waiting for it to refresh I send the DE a tell.

I tell the DE, “Would ye like a rez?”

DE tells me, “no i want a !@#$% sow dumbas i have to run south to get my corpse back so dont be a dick and just sow me plz”

I look around for an ale but unfortunatly Brell hates me at this moment in time, so I simply reply. “If I rez ya, ye wont need to run south to yer body. You will appear at yer body. I am not standing near you, I am standing near yer corpse.”

DE tells me, “d00d rez plz”

As I sigh I look at my Holy Symbol of Brell and sigh “I’m gonna get a stout named after me right?” and I tell the DE “Consent me so I can rez ya” but I get no reply. No reply at all. So I say it again “Consent me so I can rez ya”

DE tells me, “ok you can rez me”

I sit down again at this point. I have no ale and this is gonna take awhile. I tell the DE, “Type /consent and my name” Being a smart dwarf I tell the DE, “/consent Cleric_01″ and say again “Just like that” before he can make my head hurt more.

Sure enough, I receive consent to drag his corpse. So I stand up and get ready to drag the corpse when suddenly I am denied permission to drag his corpse. I begin to think like him and I think “WTF?” So I tell the DE, “No…just type it once. One more time. That’s it. Dont type it again” thinking that as soon as I get this over with, I can go buy more ale and my head will stop hurting.

I receive consent and I quickly drag it towards the zone since this is the direction the guy was going anyway. I get the body by the zone and cast Rez on it, comforted by the fact that I am one heal away from being done with this guy.

The naked DE appears in front of me and I stand up to cast my final spell of this exchange when he says to me “your that !@#%% roleplayer” and then a moment later, almost as an afterthought “thx”

Compelled at this point, I ask “Why were you running into Felwithe when you are KoS?”

DE says, “I was going to burned woods”

I say, “Burning Woods?”

DE says, “no dumbass i go there when i die i want to hunt burned woods”

I say, “Who told you to go hunting in Burned Woods, inside Felwithe?”

DE says, “some dick who wouldnt sow me” and then “will you sow me plz, its for a CR”

I stand there drooling on myself for a moment, trying to catch up. I havent had an ale in a good 20 minutes at this point, so I am starting to see spots.

DE says, “dont be a dick just sow me before they move the zone again”

I stare at the lad and ask “Move Burned Woods? Again?”

DE says, “yea”

I finally snap and say, “They aren’t going to move it again. Once they moved it to Western Wastes, with all the snow, it stopped burning.”

DE says, “i saw a burning tree”

I say, “Exactly my point. Now if they would only move Burning Woods there it would stop too and people wouldn’t go there when they die.”

DE says, “can you sow me, its for CR”

I say, “sow doesnt work in IC until you get past EW and then it will work for CR’s only until you get to WW, then ask the first person you see for sow there.” I add as an afterthought “Sometimes they look like flying blue things but they can sow”

DE says, “wtf???”

I say, “Allow me to use smaller words. You do not need a sow yet. Do what I say and you’ll get there right away.” and then “Sit down and mem the spell Bind Affinity”

DE is silent for a bit and finally says “its red” as he is standing up

I say, “I am glad they covered Colors this week. Now target yourself and cast this spell. ” He just stands there for a minute, so I add “it will r0ck” and he begins to cast the spell, binding himself behind the guards at Felwithe. I feel somewhat better already, maybe I dont need ale.

DE says, “it said bound” and begins to giggle

I say, “Now sit down and mem the spell Iceclad Gate. This will r0ck even more.”

DE says, “this one is green”

I say, “You’re damn good at those colors man”

DE says, “thx”

When the DE stands up I say “This is going to take you to Iceclad Ocean. It’s an ocean so that’s why they moved Burned Woods there….to put it out.”

DE says, “what about sow”

I say, “Remember that sow wont work until you are on a CR in WW. In fact you actually run faster in snow if you set the RUN button to WALK. Do that now.”

DE says, “ok”

I say, “Now cast Iceclad Gate….the Green one. Remember to run straight out of where you appear and dont stop swimming until you hit Burned Woods.”

DE begins to cast a spell and I zone in to get my ale….remembering that the Ignore list cures most headaches that ale cant and feeling somewhat better about going back to Sebilis.

Posted by Taymar on http://www.mmorpg-info.org.

Or maybe I’m just easily amused. See what you think:

“Don’t you hate it when you want to buy weed but your disposition with your dealer isn’t high enough? We do.”

The video has become an overnight viral sensation which is great news, because Max and Sam have now committed to making more. I’m looking forward to seeing what they come up with!

You can find out more by following their tumblr account: This Guy Are Sick (Note: includes adult content)

Posted by Taymar on http://www.mmorpg-info.org.

The Best of Dance Compilation from the 2009 Hexapod Championship in Austria:

Posted by Taymar on http://www.mmorpg-info.org.

But these? I need these. I desire these desperately and I am dedicated to finding a way to get them. These are the sweetest most wonderfulest things I’ve seen in a long time.

Wonderland posted a blog post about Lemmings and added this image. I couldn’t rest until I’d found them.

The originals are on PlanetJune and I was really excited to find out she has a shop! But she’s selling the crochet pattern, not the lemmings.

Please don’t make me take up crochet.

Isn’t there anyone reading this blog who might make these for me?

They would be just perfect on my windowsill. Pretty please?

Posted by Taymar on http://www.mmorpg-info.org.

It seems that zia_narratora had allowed an NPC in the game to unexpectedly smash a desk belonging to quizzicalsphinx’s character. This would normally seem a trivial event but quizzicalsphinx was not at all happy about this. She felt she should have been given some warning or better yet, a chance to stop it from happening.

She posted to the forum with her complaint and what followed was one of the most amusing arguments about roleplay that I’ve ever seen.

As the post resulted in a lot of comments, I’ve gone ahead and recreated a thread of highlights here.

Godmodding + NPC + Lack of OOC Consent = :(

Of course, eventually the two primary posters could no longer keep a straight face and admitted that the whole thing was a rather elaborate April Fool’s joke.

You can read the discussion in its entirety at bad_rpers_suck: Godmodding + NPC + Lack of OOC Consent = :(

Posted by Taymar on http://www.mmorpg-info.org.

YouTube - Michael Jackson - Thriller

For those of us without the musical talent and dancing skills of Michael Jackson, zombies present somewhat more of a problem. I always aim to be prepared for emergencies and so I have come to eat your brains collected this set of weblinks to help you be prepared for the day when the zombies arrive.

Test Your Skillz

What Are Your Chances of Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse?

The Zombie Surival Quiz
Question 1 of 15

How much non-perishable food you keep in your home? (canned goods, etc)

1. Lots, I could last for several months without making a trip to the store
2. I’ve got a few weeks worth of food
3. Some, I could survive for a few days without having to leave
4. Very little / none

(Note: you do not have to sign up! Simply follow the link that says “No thanks, take me to my quiz results”)

Play Zombie Games to Test Your Reactions

PopCap Games – Plants vs. Zombies

Plants Vs Zombies
And don’t look now, but they’re coming for you next!

A mob of zombies is about to invade your home, and your only defense is an arsenal of zombie-zapping plants. Think fast and plant faster to stop the zombies dead in their tracks. And with five game modes to dig into, the fun never dies!

The Last Stand | Armor Games

Survive the night fighting off zombies from your barricade. Survive longer than a day by making use of the daylight hours effectively by:
*Repairing your barricade
*Searching for weapons
*Looking for other survivors to help repair
*Search and Defend the barricade.

Attend Real-Time Simulations

Terror4Fun: Zombie Fest 2009

It’s that time of year again, when our thoughts go focus on what we are going to do this summer and of course the one word on our minds was… Zombie Fest 2009…

This year event will feature, once again, zombie films, guest stars, games, shooting and archery with zombie targets and of course, The Zombie Experience…

Buy the Zombie Survival Guide

The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead: Max Brooks: Amazon.co.uk: Books

“‘So meticulous and well researched that it’s more scary than funny. This book lays out everything you need to know to protect yourself from flesh-eating monsters’ – Esquire ‘A bloody-minded, straight laced manual for evading the grasp of the undead’ – Time Out ‘A tome you start reading for fun and then at page 50 you go out and buy a machete just to be on the safe side’ – New York Post ‘Ignorance is the undead’s strongest ally, knowledge their deadliest enemy. Personal choice, the will to live, must be paramount when the dead begin to rise. The choice is up to you.’ (from The Zombie Survival Guide)”

Accept that Zombies Can Be Cute

Left 4 Dead Super Zombies – CROCHET

When I purchased the Creepy Cute Crochet book a while back, my husband made me promise to make a zombie for him. Well, other projects kind of jumped ahead … but anyway, he recently started playing Left 4 Dead and I decided to make him all the super-powered zombies from the game for Christmas! Here are the pictures!

Adopt A Zombie Hamster

Zombie Hamsters

The Zombie Hamsters are mutating! They are disguised as soft and fuzzy plush toys. Don’t be fooled! We need your help because our team can not handle them all. Please adopt as many as you can to keep them from taking over.

If You Can’t Beat Them, Join Them

YouTube – Jonathan Coulton – re: Your Brains

Posted by Taymar on http://www.mmorpg-info.org.

How many game references can you spot?

Click on the image for a full-size version.

(via wonderlandblog)

Posted by Taymar on http://www.mmorpg-info.org.

I AM PRINCESS LEIA ORGANA ONLY SURVIVOR OF THE ROYAL FAMILY OF ALDERAN
(ALDRN).

I AM MOVED TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER, THIS WAS IN CONFIDENCE CONSIDERING MY PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCE AND SITUATION.

I WAS FALSLEY IMPRISONED UPON THE IMPERIAL BATTLESTATION (“DEATH STAR”)
WHEN MY PLANET WAS HIDEOUSLY DESTROYED AND ENDED BY THE BVERY BAD SITH LORD VADER.

I ESCAPED ALONG WITH THE AID OF BRAVE REBELS AND WOOKIES, AND AM NOW I AM LYING LOW DUE TO THE SITUATION IN THE 4TH MOON OF YAVIN TILL WHEN THINGS GETS BETTER.

I HAVE CONTROL HERE OF THE SUM OF $25, MILLIONNN IN IMPERIAL CREDITS
DEPOSITED WITH A SECURITY COMAPNY FOR SAFEKEEPING ON TATOOINE.

THE FUNDS WERE SHIPPED BY A COURIER SERVICE AS DIPLOMATIC ITEMS OF HIGH
VALUES TO PREVENT THEM FROM KNOWING THE CONTENT.

WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO friend IS TO INDICATE YOUR INTEREST THAT YOU WILL ASSIST ME BY RECEIVING THE MONEY ON OUR BEHALF ON TATOOINE AND ASSIST IN
INVESTING THIS MONEY IN ANY LUCRATIVE BUSINESS LIKE MOISTURE FARMS AND
STOCK IN MULTI-PLANETARY COMPANIES AND OTHER SAFE LUCRATIVE INVESTMENT IN YOUR SECTOR.

MAY I AT THIS POINT EMPHASISE THE HIGH LEVEL OF CONFIDENTIALITY, WHICH
THIS BUSINESS DEMANDS, AND HOPE YOU WILL NOT BETRAY THE TRUST AND CONFIDENCE WHICH I REPOSE IN YOU.

IN CONCLUSION,IN THE EVENT YOU ARE INTRESTED TO ASSIST ME I WILL LIKE
YOU TO CONTACT MY LAWYER WHO I HAVE STATIONED IN MOS EISLEY TO WITHNESS THE TRANSACTION TO IT’S CONCLUTION.

YOU CAN REACH HIM ON HIS DIRECT LINE VIA MAIL [email removed for protection], HIS NAME IS WATTO THE TOYDARIAN, I HAVE THE FULL TRUST IN
HIM.

FINALLY, I HAVE SET ASIDE 15% OF THE TOTAL SUM OF THE FUNDS FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE,AND 5% FOR ANY ESPENCES THAT SHALL BE INCURED DURING THIS TRANSACTION.PLEASE BE FREE TO DISCUSS WITH MY LAWYER.

I SINCERELY WILL APPRECAITE YOUR ACKNOWLEDGMENT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

HELP US, friend, YOU ARE OUR ONLY HOPE.

BEST REGARDS,
PRNCSS. L. ORGANA

Posted by Taymar on http://www.mmorpg-info.org.

Mr Welch has made rather a long list. A list so long that he had to post three times to get around LiveJournal truncating his list.

• 1275 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG
• Things Mr. Welch can no longer do in an RPG 501-1000
• Things Mr. Welch can no longer do in an RPG 1001-1275

What’s astounding is how amusing the list is despite its extravagant length. Here are some favorites:

55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf.
88. My bard does not get a bonus to perform if she is obviously not wearing anything under her tabard.
125. Lingerie can only snap coincidentally so many times per day.
163. Not allowed to try and make a dire version of any dog of the toy breeds.
289. My character does not have the flaw Addiction: Helium.
366. Female minotaurs do not have udders. This issue is closed.
380. I cannot use the ventriloquism skill to convince the fighter his new sword is a magical talking one.
407. I will not blow all my starting funds on hookers and booze.
469. If I wake up to find black cloaked figures in my room, I will not immediately point them to the halflings’ room.
637. German characters do not gets 4 racial bonus to intimidate French characters.
700. Not allowed to use basic economics to crash the evil empire’s economy by spending all my swag there at once.
733. Cannot make a plan that hinges on the villain first being allergic to peanuts.
895. I will not miss the final epic battle just because I crit my seduction check.
947. I cannot bet the powergamer he can’t field strip the grenade faster than me.
1030. No matter how much he pisses me off, I will not raise the barbarian’s dead mother-in-law.
1045. We will not gut every animal we kill to see if they have treasure inside like in video games.
1049. I can’t summon anything in MM4 just so I can take a bathroom break while the DM looks it up.
1076. When told to dress like a Goth I will make sure with no uncertainty whether they mean black clothes and eyeliner or chainmail and shield.

If you enjoy roleplaying games and want some amusing light reading, then head on over and read all of the 1275 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG.

Posted by Taymar on http://www.mmorpg-info.org.

I didn’t have time to write a post for the weekend and so instead, I beg your forgiveness with this bacon offering – the best bacon on the web. Here are my top ten bacon links, with an extra two because honestly – can you ever have too much bacon?

Warning: simply viewing the photographs on the following links may cause your arteries to clog. You think I’m kidding, don’t you …

These are the most amazing bacon meals and treats that I could find. All of them can either be purchased online with express delivery or, even better, easily recreated at home. Go on, I dare you!

It’s Party Time

This is why you’re fat. – Bacon Cheese Pizza Burger Giant Burger

Clever cooks will have the pizzas delivered to save prep time.

Giant burger between two large meat pizzas, eggs, bacon, colby and pepper jack cheese.

Insta-Bacon

Bacon Dispenser

Press Button Receive Bacon Enjoy Bacon

It’s the Real Thing

On a diet? Maybe Coke will take the hint and run with this great idea for a new flavor:
MySpace.com – diet coke with bacon

The Coca-Cola company is now testing its latest extension to the brand — Diet Coke with Bacon in test markets across the world including the UK, China, Australia and Africa. Starting April 21, Americans in Los Angeles will be able to be the first to try Coca-Cola with Bacon and Diet Coke with Bacon.

For the Vegetarians

Tofu Bacon and Bella Zin.

Or maybe there’s no real substitute for bacon.

Once I got home and opened my tofu bacon strips, I was even more hesitant to make this whole meal and be disappointed in the texture and the taste of the tofu bacon. Seriously, look at it… It looks like a fruit rollup and smells like a chemical version of paprika.

How Deep is Your Love

I Love You More Than Bacon Button Badge Pin | Sweet Meats Plush toys

I know for a fact that neither my son nor my boyfriend would even think of getting one of these.

Extra round for maximum flavor. Original design on 1.25″ diameter button with stainless steel pin backing. Expressions of love that exceed steak, bacon, pork, and ham available.

NSFW

Highly Questionable: The Bacon Brassiere – Geekologie

Her breasts are covered but your colleagues might begin to talk about you if they see this on your screen.

I don’t get it: I love bacon, and I love boobs, but something about this image made me want to hide under the bed and weep into my Pokemon blanket.

Jewelcraft

Etsy :: Medox :: Bacon Love Charm (Pink)
It’s the only love that is true.

Take your love of bacon everywhere with you.

For your cellphone, your portable gaming system… or anything else you can dangle stuff from. Hooray!

Bacon+Chocolate

Kevin’s Tech Ramblings: Chocolate Covered Bacon

Someone has to try it, right?

This started a conversation on the power of bacon in-which it was able to make everything it came in contact with taste better. Whether it’s a filet wrapped in bacon, bacon on salads, pizza, or sandwiches it’s always that much better with bacon. We wondered if it was possible that any other foods had this special property. Someone quickly identified chocolate as a food with similar complimentary properties.

Leave it to the Professionals

Chocolate Candy Bars – Mo’s Bacon Bar – New

Is it safer to to try the commercial version? I’m not convinced.

Breathe…engage your five senses, close your eyes and inhale deeply. Be in the present moment, notice the color of the chocolate, the glossy shine. Rub your thumb over the chocolate bar to release the aromas of smoked applewood bacon flirting with deep milk chocolate. Snap off just a tiny piece and place it in your mouth, let the lust of salt and sweet coat your tongue.

You First

Maple-Bacon Lollipops!

This is just getting weird now.

While we admit that it’s pretty far from the norm (it’s definitely not kosher!), once you make that initial leap of faith and try it out, we’re positive that you’ll love it. The salty chunks of bacon make a delicious and unique counterpoint to the subtle sweetness of the maple, and oh, yeah- you’ll be eating an oh-my-god bacon lollipop!

Meat Feast

Turbaconducken (Turducken Wrapped in Bacon) | Bacon Today

I don’t even want to think about the leftovers.

It all started with a dream…and a whole bunch of bacon. Five pounds of bacon to be exact. For some variety we used three types of bacon, including Rocco’s Country Peppered Bacon for the decorative topping.

We used a 15 pound turkey, a small duck, and a pre-cut whole chicken. We consulted the internet for a turducken recipe and hoped for the best.

An Aperitif

Brownie Points » Homemade Bacon Vodka

Actually, I might try this one.

I admit, I can’t remember the singular event that conspired to the creation of this bacon vodka. It came to life this Christmas and found home in a tasting kit of vodkas I made for friends and family. If you have time, bacon and vodka, you too can have this tasty elixir in your hands.

Light the BBQ

Bacon Explosion: The BBQ Sausage Recipe of all Recipes

I don’t think my grill is big enough.

The other day the guys from BaconToday.com contacted me in search for some barbecue bacon recipes. Of course I have plenty of great uses for bacon in a barbecue pit, but the longer I thought about it, the more I wanted to step it up a notch and clog a few arteries for those guys. Behold, BACON EXPLOSION!!! Here’s what you’ll need…

2 pounds thick cut bacon
2 pounds Italian sausage
1 jar of your favorite barbeque sauce
1 jar of your favorite barbeque rub

Posted by Taymar on http://www.mmorpg-info.org.